I've rarely been able to stay anywhere long enough to find out where to sit.

I like to linger. To soak in my surroundings. To feel the sense of wonder and awe that accompanies natural beauty, works of art, or important moments in history.

But, my travel has almost always met the pace of the person ready to move on.

It struck me when I had to search, "are there any benches in the garden at the top of Eze?" I've been to Eze three times always with someone else who wasn't as enchanted with it as I was.

This is not an indictment of my travel companions! I had the freedom to ask them to stay. I just didn't want to have to ask.

Looking back, I think what I really wanted was to have my need to sit and soak, investigate and explore accommodated without a request – much like I accommodated their desire to move on without having to ask.

Asking to have my needs met doesn't come naturally to me. That's not an excuse. It's an honest confession.

I was raised in a time when there were expectations of women that don't exist to the same extent today.

It was a time when society told girls they could be anything they wanted to be, but in reality they still lived in a world where their mothers couldn't get a mortgage or credit card in their names.

Women's roles were essentially procreation and facilitation... and to look good while doing both, of course.

It should make sense that for most of my teen and adult years, I was the facilitator who made others' lives easier.

Nothing illustrates this better than the process my small family went through preparing for our annual beach vacation.

My ex husband packed an overnight bag and a cooler. I washed clothes and linens, packed my bags, packed both our daughters' bags until they were old enough to pack their own, gathered household supplies, purchased and packed food, had the mail held, set up boarding for our pets, took the pets to the kennel, and cleaned the house so we didn't return to sour smells and pests.

After about five decades of always putting everyone else first, my facilitator role ended in 2023 at the same time my marriage ended.

Now, at 64, I am planning my return to Eze, and want to indulge myself with time in the beautiful gardens at the top to sit, absorb, observe, and to write.

And as I planned out my trip, I realized that after three visits to Eze, I didn't even know if there would be somewhere for me to sit.